What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
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