Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
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