highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
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We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
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WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
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