I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
