Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
