Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
