So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
