Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize
