Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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