she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
