he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
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I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
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I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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