I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize