my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize