We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
