Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize