hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
my liver is dry heaving
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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