I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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