oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
You may now shotgun with the bride
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
