dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
