Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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