I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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