remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Randomize
