well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Cover your peen. We're going out.
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