My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
