At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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