He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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