May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I am available for nakedness
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