her vagine was all disorganized.
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
and i looked up. we had an audience...
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Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize