dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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