Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
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