The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize