Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
