I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Randomize