Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
25 People Admit the Worst Things They’ve Done for Good Reasons
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
25 Things All Men Can Definitely Agree On
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.