btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.