I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Even my vagina gasped.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
19 People Confess The Worst Things They Have Been Accused Of
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?