Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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