She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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