You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize