My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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