Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
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