dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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