Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
