Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
