i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Randomize
