yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
