absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
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