.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
