I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize