I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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