Pappa wants mamma naked
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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