just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
