Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Randomize
