areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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