Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Randomize
