Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
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