You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
