beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize